A spoof in the style of the Federal Register -- on the Occasion of the Election of President Ronald Reagan in 1980. (He's looking pretty good from here in 2020!)
Notice of Proposed Prayermaking
Notice of Proposed Prayermaking
Notice is hereby given pursuant to the Administrative Procedure Act of the promulgation of a School Prayer to be recited daily in all schools, public and private, in the United States and Territories.
Comments should be dropped in the nearest trashcan.
The deadline for comments has Passed.
This shall henceforward be known as
"The National School Prayer"
The text appears below.
Proposed School Prayer
Lord, bless our Nation, keep us strong!
We’re happy Reagan's come along!
He will lead our country well,
And blast her foes right straight to Hell!
Like Dillinger or Willie Sutton,
Keep his finger on the button,
He will keep us safe from danger,
Without allies, our Lone Ranger!
Lord, we’re glad he’ll give the ax,
To every sort of federal tax,
And Dad and Mom are here to say,
Their jobs were silly anyway!
Our schools may start to crack and crumble,
But we’ll take heart in cannon rumble!
And if we’re sick without insurance?
We’ll trust “no left behind” assurance!
Clean air is boring, give us smog,
And putrid water for our grog,
We won’t complain, or howl, or pick,
We love the taste of arsenic!
Please send those pipelines where you will,
Let oil through mighty channels spill,
Wild beasts won’t make our engines run,
So drive ‘em out by force or gun!
And Lord, we’d like our Pres to look,
Whenever we check out a book,
And when our cell phone starts to ring,
We hope he’ll hear ‘most everything!
The Ten Commandments are the best,
They’ll give our laws that extra zest,
On Saturdays, we’ll rest, that’s all!
No football games; no shopping mall!
And most of all, we pray to you,
In class, at lunch, and recess too:
Lord, bless our school, and keep it free,
Of children who don’t look like me!
© 1981 Joan D. Levin
