SCHOOL PRAYER FOR 1981 IN THE REAGAN ERA

A spoof in the style of the Federal Register -- on the Occasion of the Election of President Ronald Reagan in 1980.  (He's looking pretty good from here in 2020!)

Notice of Proposed Prayermaking

Notice is hereby given pursuant to the Administrative Procedure Act of the promulgation of a School Prayer to be recited daily in all schools, public and private, in the United States and Territories.  

Comments should be dropped in the nearest trashcan.

The deadline for comments has Passed.

This shall henceforward be known as 

"The National School Prayer" 

The text appears below.

Proposed School Prayer

Lord, bless our Nation, keep us strong!

We’re happy Reagan's come along!

He will lead our country well, 

And blast her foes right straight to Hell!

Like Dillinger or Willie Sutton, 

Keep his finger on the button,

He will keep us safe from danger,

Without allies, our Lone Ranger!

Lord, we’re glad he’ll give the ax,

To every sort of federal tax,

And Dad and Mom are here to say,

Their jobs were silly anyway!

Our schools may start to crack and crumble,

But we’ll take heart in cannon rumble!

And if we’re sick without insurance?

We’ll trust “no left behind” assurance!  

Clean air is boring, give us smog,

And putrid water for our grog,

We won’t complain, or howl, or pick,

We love the taste of arsenic!    

Please send those pipelines where you will,

Let oil through mighty channels spill, 

Wild beasts won’t make our engines run,

So drive ‘em out by force or gun!

And Lord, we’d like our Pres to look,

Whenever we check out a book,

And when our cell phone starts to ring,

We hope he’ll hear ‘most everything!

The Ten Commandments are the best,

They’ll give our laws that extra zest,

On Saturdays, we’ll rest, that’s all!

No football games; no shopping mall!

And most of all, we pray to you,

In class, at lunch, and recess too:

Lord, bless our school, and keep it free,

Of children who don’t look like me!  

© 1981 Joan D. Levin

TWO TOOTH POEMS

These verses memorialize the March, 2020 removal of my upper left second molar which had a fractured root.   They are dedicated to my dental health providers and to dental health providers everywhere!

The numbers here are part of a system used by dentists to identify teeth - beginning with #1 -- the upper right third molar, proceeding around the upper teeth, then dropping directly down to the lower LEFT third molar -- tooth #17, and continuing in the opposite direction so that tooth #32 is directly beneath tooth #1.   

To the dentist, however, left and right are reversed from the way you may experience it, so when the dentist looks in your mouth, he or she sees tooth #1 to his or her LEFT, and proceeds from left to right across the upper teeth and from right to left across the lower teeth.  

Got that?  If not, I've added a handy chart at the foot of this post to guide you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Tooth Poems by Joan Levin — March, 2020

Goodbye Number Fifteen -- Part 1

Joan Levin, 3/10/20

You’ve been right there with me since I was a teen,

And now you are leaving, dear Number Fifteen!

I brushed you and flossed you, as well suits a Queen,  

But those days are over now, Number Fifteen!

There’ll be a big hole where you lately have been,

My tongue will search vainly for Number Fifteen!

I’m sorry you broke!  This world can be mean!

Requiescat in Pace, dear Number Fifteen!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodbye Number Fifteen -- Part 2

Joan Levin, 3/17/20

With Fifteen gone, there is no peace,

The battles in my mouth don’t cease

Two smashes Thirty-one, by golly, 

Just like a Frazier bout with Ali!

Fourteen vs. Nineteen — it’s not funny,

It’s just like Dempsey banging Tunney!

These battles leave me limp with fright, 

And there’s no referee in sight!  

                        The International Tooth Numbering System

This chart is easier to understand but unfortunately has a typo in which the number 32 appears twice, and so 31, which figures intros poem, is not correctly labeled! 

The numbers are accurate on this chart but it's harder to see the labels for the quadrants.  But they are the same as above and No. 31 is correctly labeled. 

Note: To see tooth related posts in this blog just search on "molar."

URBS IN HORTO, OR, CITY IN A GARDEN

I wrote these lyrics in the early 1980's during one of our many campaigns to save our parks from becoming traffic thoroughfares, cement pavilions and brick palaces.    Chicago's motto is "Urbs in Horto," or City in A Garden; hence the title.  

Musician Ron Combs wrote original music which I don't have here,  and a couple of professional singers actually performed this on one of the morning drive time radio shows.  I don't have this music but it would work with a lot of well-known tunes!

   

FOR CONSTITUTION DAY IN HONOR OF JULY 17, 1787

The Bill of Rights in a Nutshell

Joan D. Levin 

Just take to heart what’s written here,

And I will bet a dollar,

That you can be the same as me:

A near-Constitutional scholar!

The First Amendment guards our rights,

To gather, speak and pray.

The Second lets us fire off shots,

And helps the NRA.

The Third Amendment keeps our houses,

Free of sleeping troops.

The Fourth protects our privacy,

From governmental snoops.

The Fifth Amendment guarantees,

Some values tried and true: 

Life, liberty and property,

Secured by process due.

It also makes it very clear,

That no one else can take,

Confessions pouring from our mouths,

That we don’t want to make.

In crimes, the Sixth requires the State,

To show its grounds for trial,

By means of an indictment,

For admission or denial,

And promptly prove your lawlessness,

To jury peers, and then,

Once the trial is over, they

Can’t have at you again!

And you may cross-examine

All the folks who wish you ill,

And bring supporters for your side

(Regardless of their will.)

And best of all, a lawyer comes

To polish up your star.

The government may pay, how nice,

For this supports the bar!

The Seventh calls for civil juries,

The Eighth says “Have a heart!” 

"Keep untried poor folk out of jail," 

And “Torture isn’t smart!” 

Nine protects remaining rights,

That are not listed here.

And Ten says states may legislate,

Where this pact isn’t clear.

So now you have the Bill of Rights,

In brash and breathless rhyme.

Now aren’t you glad I wasn’t with

The Framers at that time?! 

(c) Joan D. Levin, 2017

Written in observance of U. S. Constitution Day commemorating the adoption of the U. S. Constitution, September 17, 1787.
See: https://www.constitutionday.com

###

FOR ARIANE AND ROB AT RAW THANKSGIVING 2019

Green Gratitude is our annual Raw Thanksgiving -- 
This year it was held on November 9 at a community center in Evanston.  As they do each year, Ariane and her husband Rob make it such a wonderful event!  
We sang this for them this year as we did in 2017!

Thanksgiving Tribute to Ariane – 

Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic  

Sing chorus after each verse. 

Audience joins on WE THANK YOU.

We are gathered for GREEN GRATITUDE.

And having lots of fun, 

We’ve dined on dishes raw and vegan, 

Each and every one!

But we’ve one more thing to do, 

And now let’s do it, everyone!

Let’s say THANK YOU Ariane!

For all we’ve learned from you we thank you!

For all you’ve organized we thank you!

For this and so much more we thank you,

We THANK YOU Ariane!

You know she planned this evening, 

Found the space and did promotion, 

She lined up food and volunteers, 

With minimal commotion!

But you’ve only seen the surface, 

All the rest would fill an ocean!

Let’s say THANK YOU Ariane!

For all we’ve learned from you we thank you

For all you’ve organized we thank you

For this and so much more we thank you,

We thank you Ariane

In the summer in the parks, 

And on this dark November eve, 

She has built a strong community, 

That’s happy to receive, 

So many gifts of health and wellness, 

We can scarce believe, 

Let’s say THANK YOU Ariane!

For all we’ve learned from you we thank you

For all you’ve organized we thank you

For this and so much more we thank you,

We thank you Ariane

She can fight against an industry,

That spews out GMO,

She can get the people marching,

She can make a protest grow!

And when Monsanto says “Oh STOP,” 

She quickly answers "GO!"

Let’s say THANK YOU Ariane!

For all we’ve learned from you we thank you

For all you’ve organized we thank you

For this and so much more we thank you,

We thank you Ariane

This evening has been perfect,

A ThanksLIVING dream come true,

And we want to thank another one who brought it all to you!

Rob, you’ve proved that one and one can be.

A whole lot more than two!

Thank you ROB AND ARIANE!

Rob and Ariane we thank you,

Rob and Ariane we thank you,

Rob and Ariane we thank you,

Thank you Rob and Ariane!

###

My Birthday vs Mother's Day

A birthday on the twelfth of May,
Presents an awful choice.
It falls so close to Mothers' Day,
It seems to lose its voice.

What other May 12 babies do,
I can only guess,
But I've a bias, that is true,
That I shall now confess:

I've always looked at Mothers' Day,
As a commercial scam,
Nice enough, but BIRTHDAY,
Is the day that says "I AM!"

I do not need a birthday cake,
That I can't even eat,
A gift is not what it would take,
Nor party, I'd repeat.

But an e-mail, call or birthday card,
Just suits me to a T,
Or something, if it's not too hard,
To some fine charity.

Egotistical you say?
Well, call it selfish too --
But it's my day, and it's a day,
I'd love to hear from you!

Love,  Mom

JOHNS HOPKINS GRADUATION POEM -- 1989

                         Joan D. Levin 2114 South     4515 Willard Avenue                                          Chevy Chase, Maryland 20815

(301) 654-1989

May 25, 1989

To Dr. Edyth Schoenrich, with thanks for helping me into a wonderful salmon-colored hood and a wonderful education!

Salmon stands for public health,

But every gal and fella,

Who earned a hood last night must think:

“Could this mean Salmonella?”

That same infectious dish that graced,

Our Epi One lab table,

Is brought to mind by salmon hood,

How else translate this label?

Somewhere the wag who dreamed this up,

Must chuckle at the pun.

And I do too!  It’s always best,

To end a job with fun!

So thank you for a super time, 

I loved the convocation!

Keep hot things hot and cold things cold;

Lukewarm won’t heal a nation!

###

For Beth Damon's Birthday 2017

An Ode to Beth’s Birthday!

By Joan Levin, March 5, 2017

We watch as the decades roll by so fast,

How quickly the future turns into the past!

We’re taught that our days are numbered, but then,

We squander this treasure again and again!

Some fill up their days with meaningless strife,

While others add value each day of their life,

Beth is one of that fortunate few,

Who somehow – instinctively? – knows what to do!

Work, friends and family, personal care,

Beauty and grace, all of them there!

So even when birthdays add up to large digits,

It’s clear that our Beth neither fusses nor fidgets!

She goes right on living, days without end,

Mother and Grandma, and (I’m glad to say) friend!

Her counsel is wise, generosity ample,

She’s never a preacher, but leads by example!

So although this greeting is late to arrive,

Please treat it as though it were here on March Five!

Let’s celebrate now, give great cheers and then,

Next year we’ll do it all over again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this was for the lovely Sarong for her birthday luncheon! 

-----Original Message-----
From: Joan Levin <jdlevin@bright.net>
To: Beth Damon <cachi222@aol.com>
Sent: Sat, Mar 18, 2017 10:43 pm
Subject: Not another poem!!! This should have been included!

Sarong

A comely young birthday girl (who's counting years?)

Whose family and friends all greet her with cheers,

Says "I have lived large, and I have lived long,

And that is because I wear a sarong!"

Her children and grandchildren seek her advice,

On how to be happy and healthy and nice. 

She answers "you must learn to tell right from the wrong,

And never forget to wear a sarong!"

What ever the dress codes, she still looks appealing,

Stylish and svelte, but not too revealing.

Skirts may be short, or calf-length, or long,

But she's always in style, wrapped in a sarong!

In conclusion I wish happy birthday to you,

And I hope this advice will bring happiness too:

Whatever you do, keep on singing this song, 

"You can never go wrong if you wear a sarong!"

### 

Carol Moseley Braun's Birthday, 2017

For Carol Moseley Braun's Birthday August 6, 2017

A Verse for Carol,

or Why August 16 should be a National Holiday!

You may be a Democrat and an agrarian,

Now add to that list, septuagenarian!

If shy about bragging you’ve reached that Big Seventy,

Just tell folks you’re going on Sixty-Eleventy!

For while you’re no longer a slip of a lass,

The World’s taken note: you’ve got plenty of class!

And though years hurry by, too swiftly to capture,

Through them all you have grown in wisdom and stature.

So look back in pride on the good you have done,

Then look forward to victories still to be won.

Most of all for your birthday, one more thing to say,

Have a splendidly joyful and cake-endowed day!

With much love and admiration,

Joan Levin, August 16, 2017

Rob and Ariane in Arizona, 2015

In the winter of 2015 I had a great time with Ariane and Rob in their Arizona winter home!   It was a week of healthful meals, lots of hikes, workouts at Ariane's gym --  Wow did I come home in great shape!

Some opt for sunny ski-slopes

Or seek a Florida tan,

But nothing beats a healthful stay,

With Rob and Ariane!

The wraps and bright green smoothies,

Feed body and the soul,

And for good measure we spend time,

On some great worthwhile goal!

Ariane keeps me moving,

No time for lazy slouching,

Yoga, Weights and Body Pump,

And yet I’m still not grouching!

But most of all I treasure,

Your friendship tried and true,

So Ariane, and Rob, again,

My heartfelt thanks to you!

###

For Nancy deGrazia's birthday, 2012

(This was for Vic deGrazia's wife, the former Nancy Shlaes.  I'd given her a Kindle Gift certificate because the kids said she had just gotten a Kindle. )

Something neat and not too fancy

Erudite is right for Nancy!

This is not to jibe or heckle,

It’s just to say that she’s got sekhl*

She’s got the class, she’s got the looks,

And as we know, she’s got the books!

And that she has, an awful lot!

So what to get that she ain’t got?

Ah, cyber-living saves the day --

It looks like Kindle’s here to stay!

So pick and choose and when you’re done,

Add this to your Birthday fun!

*Wisdom, common sense.

April 15, 2012

Rawnika Songs 2011

I wrote these for Ariane & Rob's Hanukkah party in 2011.  Since we were raw foodies for this I called it Rawnika!  The tunes are all traditional.

HAPPY RAWNIKA!!!

Tune: Maoz Tzur

At this season long ago,

Miracles came thick and fast.

First the win o’er greater foe,

Oil for eight days was the last.

    But these days we’re dying, 

    Using oil for frying!

    You’ll feel swell, you will kvell, 

    Raw food prep applying!  

         

Grate some carrots with a smile,

Add some yams and chia too.

Only takes a little while,

Full of life to nourish you!

Add your favorite seasoning,

Dry with gentle breezing!

You’ll feel swell, you will kvell,

Latkes are so pleasing!!

Cashews and some lemon juice

For a topping creamy,

Apples in a Cuisinart,

Make a sauce that’s dreamy!

Now you won’t be dying, 

Using oil for frying!

You’ll feel swell, you will kvell!    

Raw food is worth trying!  

                              ________________

Tune: Dreydl, Dreydl, Dreydl

I made a little smoothie, 

With mangos and with greens, 

And living vibrant superfoods, 

To keep my insides clean!

Oh blender blender blender –

Keep turning, sov sov sov!

Oh blender blender blender,

You make each day Yom Tov!

And now I’ll make another,

Cacao and carob too,

With coconuts and gojis, 

And this one’s just for you!

Oh blender blender blender –

Keep turning, sov sov sov!

Oh blender blender blender,

You make each day Yom Tov!

               ______________

Tune: Oh Hanukkah

O  Rawnika, O Rawnika,

The Vitamix is stirring,

The Cuisinart is whirring,

Excalibur is purring!

The festive board is groaning,

With coconuts and kale,

Only tiny candles 

Burn to tell the tale!

 And out in, the meadow –

The animals all dance for glee!

We’ve left them alive, 

So they too will survive,

     Just like the brave Macabees! 

We’ve left them alive,

So they too will survive,

    Just like the brave Macabees! 

                         ______________

Tune: Mi Y Malel

When you are pining for brand new dining, With a new taste, 

We think you need a big bowl of seaweed, You’ll feel fine!

Your life will rock a bit more with Maca,  

In your smoothie,   

Nuts are much better, when they are wetter,  Here, try mine!

Oy, you’ll feel better with a green food tonic!  If  that won’t work, then go for a colonic! 

Or try Rejuvelac,  or fresh wheat grass!

You’ll feel fine,   And you can bet your –--

ASK me a question, you’ll get an answer, Where’s the protein?

Have some more green-os,

It’s got aminos, all you need!

Collards and kale too, never will fail you, 

Eat some daily, 

These foods are super, never a blooper –-

Now let’s feed!

© 2011 Joan D. Levin

For Marilyn Bergstrom's Birthday 2011

January 26, 2011

For Marilyn:

For a salad or side,

It can’t be denied,

Swedish is best!

It beats all the rest!

Although it’s not raw,

It won’t stick in your craw,

Add bits to a salad.

Here I’ll end my ballad!

Happy Birthday!!!

(Printed on Birthday Paper!)